


Still She Waits

by reetywrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts Era, Pre-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22047133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reetywrites/pseuds/reetywrites
Summary: Snapshots of Luna and Theo moments from childhood to the Battle of Hogwarts.
Relationships: Luna Lovegood/Theodore Nott
Comments: 14
Kudos: 35





	1. A Pureblood Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Theo have been friends since babies. But they're getting older and the divide is growing. Even if they don't know it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing.

Luna Lovegood sits still while her mother weaves her sunflower hair with comb and wand. The intricate bun she is left with is different.

Pure.

Elitist.

Strands from her lopsided fringe escape, falling across blue eyes. Her mother sighs but leaves it be. Luna waits patiently as her crown of orange and blue dandelions is set upon her head, the finishing touch.

Footsteps sound at the door.

“Did you pick those yourself, Lunabear?” her father asks. “Yes, Papa,” Luna replies, “I followed the Nargles to their hiding place.” “Ahhh,” he replies simply, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

A shared glance between husband and wife.

Luna dismisses it and turns back to the mirror, smiles at her mother in the reflection. “Thank you, Mama,” she says, hugging her.

The glance disappears as she replies with a smile, “You’re welcome, my Luna.”

At her sniffly tone, Luna pulls away, searching the air around their heads. Mama gazes back, eyes a question. “I’m checking for Wrackspurts,” Luna explains. And determining that none are flitting about them, Luna kisses her nose and skips to her father.

The glance returns.

But Luna is too busy thinking how happy her friend, Theodore Nott, will be when he opens his very own set of Dirigible plum cufflinks for his eighth birthday.

* * *

Theodore Nott sits still amidst presents wrapped in shiny black paper, tied with ribbons of silver and green. The broom he just opened lies half unwrapped in his hands, limp. His mother sits beside him, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

Silent.

Surprisingly so.

“What do you say to the Malfoys’, Theodore?” His father stands apart, hands clasped behind his back. They make a picture-perfect pureblood family.

Theo opens his mouth to thank them but is interrupted by the whoosh of the Floo in the next room. It closes, and the patter of skipping feet echo closer.

_ Closer. _

And then a girl wearing a dress the same yellow as her hair skips into the room.

“Happy birthday Theo,” Luna sings, brightness amongst the dreary grey of the estate. His father is tense, and it comes off him in waves, slapping Theo across his back. But her light blocks it out, and he offers a small smile.  She skips to a stop in front of him. 

He looks down. 

Her toes are bare and coloured, pink and green with yellow suns. 

They wiggle. 

Then something is in his hands. Something wrapped in orange to rival the dandelions in her hair. His hands move to open-

A throat clears. 

It is loud. 

Invasive. 

_ Absolute. _

It stops Theo from opening the present he dearly wishes to see.

“Thank you, Miss Lovegood,” his mother now speaks, her hand touching his shoulder gives him courage as much as her words. “Open it, Theo, dear.”

_ He doesn’t dare look at his father. _

Instead, Theo gives a small nod to his mother, then opens the dainty parcel in his lap. Inside the box are two tiny plums, a colour so deep he can’t tell if they’re purple or red.

He looks at Luna questioningly.

“They’re cufflinks,” she smiles, “to keep the Nargles away.”

Theo can’t help but hear the muffled snickers from the boys in attendance.

_ His father will not like that. _

Theo’s smile is tight as he thanks her. And before he understands what is happening, she wraps her arms around him in a hug.

“You’re welcome, Theo,” she whispers and kisses the tip of his nose. Then before he can turn red, she skips away, back to the Floo, disappearing with a single whoosh.

_ His father will not like that  _ AT ALL .


	2. The Beginning of Their End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The divide splits them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing.

Luna skips to the front of the hall. But it’s slow, and her feet aren’t cooperating. She supposes she looks a bit hoppy. The offbeat skitter of her feet on polished marble seems to say so.

“Who fucking _skips_ at their mother’s funeral?” Someone hisses, and for once the judgement in a voice has her faltering.

Luna stops. Turns. _Stares_. 

Of course. Draco Malfoy.

He fidgets under her narrowed gaze, and it would be intriguing if she weren’t curious to see if Theo was near too. Blue eyes scan the row of people, unimportant faces smooshing together like the tinned fish Mr Weasley loves so much.

There. Black hair, cut precisely, stands above the other pureblood children. At least a head above. Luna muses over the likelihood of Wrackspurts preferring her lanky friend’s frame over the masses.

She smiles at him.

 _He doesn’t smile back_.

Mrs Nott stands next to him, strain evident in the lines around her straight mouth. On Theo’s other side is his father. Luna’s brow puckers at his hand, resting on his son’s shoulder. 

No, not resting. 

Clasping. Clamping. _Closing him off_.

Blue eyes ask green a question. Green eyes don’t reply. 

Luna’s smile fades to a blanket of snow unblemished except for the odd impression from feet, paws and claws. Her father sobs and she remembers where she was going, what she was doing before green eyes distracted her.

She skips again. And it’s a proper skip this time, nothing like the hop, falter and half-hearted jump of before. They will call her names but sticks and stones. This is _her_ mother’s funeral, and she will commemorate her properly. 

With a sadness that bleats happily now and then, Luna slips an arm through her father’s and addresses the crowd.

* * *

There is nothing Theo would like more than to hug his friend. Hell, he’d even kiss the tip of her nose if he thought it would help. 

But the hand at his shoulder hasn’t moved since it first landed. Even now, as they slowly make their way to the refreshments room, it’s there. Heavy. Dark. _Oppressive_.

His mother didn’t even try to interfere this time. In fact, she hasn’t stepped between them since he discovered the mottled red and purple of her face. He’d been wearing Luna’s present, plum cufflinks when he came across his mother quietly sobbing in the garden gazebo. It was the day after his eighth birthday party, and they were a matching pair.

Him wearing his favourite, albeit odd, birthday present. 

His mother wearing her tears and bruises.

 _He hadn’t worn them since_.

“Good afternoon Mr and Mrs Nott,” Draco Malfoy said, interrupting his thoughts, “I was going to take a stroll outside, do you mind if Theodore joins me?”

Theo winces, teeth clenching as the fingers gripping his shoulder tighten.

“I’m sure they will be fine for a short while Reginald,” Lucius Malfoy intones, boredom splayed across his features as he scans the other wizards and witches in attendance. When Reginald Nott doesn’t reply, Lucius turns, brow perched in sardonic question. “Perhaps you’ll remember that Draco would never allow himself, or his associates, to embarrass the Malfoy name.”

Theo’s father sighs, as much as one can when outmanoeuvred by a viperous tongue. He can almost hear the shackles of his father’s knuckles creak as they reluctantly release their control. 

If only for a moment.

A nod from Draco is all Theo needs. Both boys turn and walk towards the double glass doors leading to the balcony.

* * *

Luna tilts her head, turning it so her eyes can follow the smoke wafting up, up, up until it disintegrates into nothing but blue. Another cloud rises, the scent pungent even with a hedge wall between her.

Her and them. Her and _him_. 

She wonders as she trails her hand through evergreen leaves, what an Heliopath is doing at her mother’s funeral. Around the corner, the scent of smoke is weak-

“Oh,” she gasps, blinking once, two times fast, “my mistake.”

Draco Malfoy glares at her and Luna realises the air around his head is surprisingly empty of Wrackspurts. Theo’s, though…

“Hmmm.”

“What, Loony?” Malfoy spits. 

“Theo seems to have stolen all of your Wrackspurts,” she says, voice floating high.

“You’d better watch what you say, Loony,” Malfoy threatens, “if my father hears-”

“Oh, _your_ father is not the one to worry about Draco,” she replies, ignoring him when he sputters at her use of his given name. 

Theo stiffens next to Draco who finally recovers enough to utter a rather disdainful, “Come, Theodore,” before stalking off. 

A raised hand stops him.

“I’ll join you soon,” Theo says quietly, green eyes piercing blue, “I just need to deal with... Loony.”

His use of her unoriginal nickname makes Luna sigh. So. She was right. She did so hate being _right_ sometimes.

* * *

Malfoy’s snicker follows him around the corner, and Theo stands still in silence. Blessed, _cursed_ silence.

“Why did you follow me, Luna?” he asks. “You’re my friend, aren’t you,” she answers simply.

Out here, the day is bright, cheerful with not one cloud in the sky. But all he can see are blue eyes piercing him, burrowing deep in search of something he doesn’t have. Not anymore.

He can’t meet her eyes when he says, “I’m not your friend.”

She is quiet. Blessedly, _cursedly_ quiet. 

So he waits. And he waits.

His fists clench. 

His back stiffens. 

His jaw locks.

He _finally_ looks her in the eye.

“Okay, Theodore.” 

He waits some more. But when all she does is passively stare, he nods. Perfunctory. Detached. Cold.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he says, then turns and leaves her behind. Around the corner of the evergreen hedge, her voice floats to him one last time.

“Which one?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also sorry about the formatting differences. I'm still figuring out how I like it on here so it may change throughout.


	3. Thestrals and Hippogriffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's too early for most people to see Thestrals. Set immediately before the infamous Dramione altercation.
> 
> P.S I don't own anything. I'm just borrowing.

Theo Nott trails his two housemates, the blond leading the blatant. Their banter hasn’t ceased since Potions this morning and he really has no inclination to stay apprised of who grew tits over the summer. Not that tits aren’t good, because, well, tits. 

Theo shakes his head. He liked to think he saw more than just a person’s outside and despite his own heavily disguised persona, because he was a Slytherin after all, he liked to get to know the person that came with the… bits.

“What’s up, mate?” Blaise asks, interrupting his heavy sigh. Theo shakes his head. Again. But isn’t questioned further.

“Hurry up you two,” Draco calls, “Loony Lovegood is at it again.”

Theo pauses for but a second, his heart thumping loudly. So loud he hears it in his ears. Draco’s voice disappears. Blaise isn’t standing next to him. His eyes search the grounds, frantic in their perusal of grass, dirt and blurry robes of the Hogwarts kind. They settle almost calmly on a figure so pale it shouldn’t be out in the sun, let alone without some sort of covering. 

Luna Lovegood balances on the edge of a fence, hand outstretched. She has no robes, no shoes, in fact, Theo can’t help but notice her legs stretching, uncovered too.

Someone jostles his shoulder and it’s like being sucked through a portkey. His insides feel odd and his heart is hammering.

“Alright mate?” Blaise asks. If Theo didn’t know his friend as well as he did the lack of concern would have him sneering. But instead, Theo just nods and the two carry on to keep Draco out of trouble.

* * *

Luna sighs in a way that is clearly frustrated but she supposes to another it could seem like she is just breathing rather heavily. She understands, of course, that her empathetic take on life isn’t normal for many. Sometimes she forgets the willful ignorance of her peers, especially when these are things she sees so clearly. 

She reaches up once more, toes of one foot curling carefully over the edge of the fence she balances on while the other rises behind her for balance. She jiggles the just-dead possum to coax the Thestral near and its skeletal face is about to snap it from her fingers when someone sneers, making it freeze then skitter away.

“I didn’t take you for someone who played with their food before eating it, Loony.”

Luna sighs again. Some would say in resignation. She, well, she would say in mild annoyance because the level of willful ignorance Malfoy displayed on a regular basis was really too high. Instead of replying she turns slowly, still balancing on one foot, and tilts her head. 

Of course, the three Slytherin brothers. She watches patiently as Blaise and Theo saunter up to Draco. No one speaks. It’s as if they’re in a verbal duel waiting for the right time to strike. Luna takes in her old friend, blue eyes meeting green and she smiles.

“What are you smiling at Loony?” Malfoy cuts in. 

“Memories,” she whispers on a sigh, closing her eyes as she hops from the fence gracefully. Her feet melt into dew-covered grass and she wiggles her toes, peeking down at them from beneath her lashes. 

Mild spluttering causes her to look up and see Malfoy with his mouth opening and closing. And opening. And closing.

“Would you like to go swimming Malfoy?”

“Not with you Loony,” he sneers a reply.

“Oh of course not,” she shrugs, “I’d scare all the fish away.”

Malfoy glances at his friends and Luna can see they don’t understand. She doesn’t even bother sighing this time.

“You wouldn’t get a proper opportunity to impersonate them correctly with me splashing about.”

Blaise splutters, something so unlike his usual stare, Luna looks at him to explain. “I can’t swim you know. All the splashing I create from flailing tends to scare them away.”

“Luna,” Theo’s voice is quiet, direct. She looks at him, the caution in his eyes answering her own questioning ones. 

It’s her turn to impersonate a fish and she does so expertly while trying to think of what they might like to hear. 

They are silent.

“Well, I suppose you’d best be off then,” she finally says.

They are still silent. And then Theo nods, turning to drag Malfoy and Blaise away.

“Oh,” she calls abruptly, running to catch up to them, “could you please give this to Hagrid when you pass his hut?” 

She holds out the dead possum, ignoring the disgusted looks on Blaise's and Malfoy’s faces. Theo nods quickly, grabbing the animal from her hands. She smiles at him as they depart, watching their receding backs. It isn’t until they’re almost over the hill when she remembers she forgot something.

“Tell Hagrid it’s for Buckbeak!” 

Malfoy starts to turn back but is stopped by Theo who is now bodily dragging the Slytherin onward. She waves at Blaise who is looking between them, his laughs loud as he trails behind his friends. When they finally disappear over the rise, Luna turns and skips to the lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of struggled with this part. As shown in my failed attempt at humour 🤷♀️


	4. Tri-Wizard Tournament ~ The Yule Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo is wistful. And Luna is, well, Luna.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing.

The crystal in Theo’s hand is cold and unsurprisingly empty. The music is a bore and he can’t help but curl his lip at the oblivious look on his date’s face. Daphne Greengrass. Blue eyed. Blonde. They would say he had a type if they could only see behind his mask. 

“Ugh, how did _she_ get a date?” Daphne drawls as she loops an arm through his. Theo stiffens but she mistakes it for something else. “Don’t worry Theo,” Daphne attempts a coquettish pout, “I know how much you dislike PDA.” But Theo doesn’t answer. He’s too busy keeping his feet planted to the floor while his heart pulls against it’s braces. In the middle of the dancefloor spins Luna Lovegood. Blue eyes are closed to the light flitting across the masses. Her arms sway above her in a movement he can’t help but see as enticing. Daphne tugs his arm.

“Ugh, she’s so… Loony.” 

Theo simply grunts noncommittally. Green eyes never straying from the lithe blonde dancing to her own beat amongst the masses. Not even when the song ends and he finds himself looking directly into blue eyes.

“Oh, good evening. It’s a bit of a whirlwind out there,” Luna smiles and it’s as if she’s shot him straight into a pensieve of their childhood. 

“You look-” Theo starts without realising. 

Stops.

Luna continues to smile at him and by now he’s wondering if his glass was spiked because who can’t have a simple conversation with a childhood friend. Non-friend. Stranger.

The silence must be telling because Theo feels Daphne prepare to strike, the telltale clenching of her fingernails in his arm giving some indication.

“He was trying to say you look ridiculous,” Daphne states, “weren’t you Theo?”

He freezes. Not because Luna is still smiling at him. Nor because he can feel Daphne’s glare turn from the sprite in front of them to him. 

He freezes because he is stuck. Stuck between the life he lives and the life he longs for. And even though Daphne’s fingernails now feel like daggers he still can’t speak. If only he could be saved by a Durmstrang student-

Wait, what? Theo shakes his head.

If it’s even possible, Luna’s smile beams brighter and Theo can see Daphne stomping away in a huff but it pales in comparison to his oldest friend looking at him as if he hasn’t tried to ignore her existence their entire school career.

“Do you want to dance love?” 

Luna turns her smile on the Durmstrang boy beside her to reply. And as the other student leads her away, hand at her back, Theo can’t help but feel the cold crystal he still holds, seep into his hand and spread. 


	5. Umbridge's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war is building. Things are happening. But Theo doesn't want to let Luna go.

Luna waits patiently outside a door. The corridor is deserted and she wonders briefly whether Harry has found what he was looking for. Her musings are interrupted by arms that band around her waist, pulling her back into a hard chest. Her heart pounds as she turns, lifting her wand to strike. 

But the hand that grabs her wrist is so familiar. An onyx ring with a silver ‘N’ glints at her from a finger. A long-forgotten scent filters into her nostrils.

“Theo?” She breathes.

His arm tightening around her waist is the only indication that he heard her before one Draco Malfoy appears in front of her, finger to his lips in a universal sign. 

She opens her mouth to yell but is caught off guard. Again.

“Don’t Luna,” Theo whispers almost imperceptibly, “please!”

She quiets, stops struggling. In fact the next few minutes pass so quickly she barely remembers them. All she can feel is the harsh grip of Theo grounding her, keeping her from floating up, up, up. She vaguely registers Hermione’s voice, desperation tinting her words.

“I didn’t realise Hagrid had a brother,” she barely whispers.

Theo’s grip on her wrist tightens briefly, then he is nodding at Umbridge and tugging her out of the room. His signet ring glints from the hand that pulls her along behind him. He marches her through corridors and staircases until they stop near Ravenclaw Tower. She stumbles into his back, distracted by the evidence of his lineage, his responsibilities, his role in this war.

* * *

Theo stops just before the corridor to Ravenclaw Tower. He knows he needs to return her to her dorms but can’t stomach the idea that she might do something like this again. And what if he isn’t the one to find her. He shakes his head, looking around quickly before tugging her into a darkened alcove.

“Luna…” he starts, uncertainty straining his voice.

She waits. Watches. _Patient_.

“You…” he tries again.

Her hand moves to grasp _his_ wrist now. Thumb stroking his hand softly, soothing, calming. 

He takes a breath, hand covering hers and pulls her closer. She goes to him, curling herself into his frame, ear pressed to his heart, hands drifting up his arms to loop around his neck. He lets his head fall, chin resting atop her crown. 

And it’s almost enough. 

Their friendships, rivalries, years of difference disappear in the quiet solace of each other’s arms.

“Never do that again,” Theo finally manages, hands gripping tightly at the thought of her in danger. He breathes her in, content to keep her in his arms for just a bit longer.

But she steps back.

Pulls out of his embrace.

Tilts her head.

Smiles sadly.

He begins to worry when she still doesn’t speak. Instead, Luna steps toward him and the barest brush of her lips on his jaw makes him shudder. Green eyes drift shut. And while he composes himself, blue eyes gaze at him for how long neither knows. 

Eventually blue eyes close with a tear before leaving. And when the sound of her footsteps recede, green eyes open to find that she is gone. And this time she did not skip.


	6. One Last Time Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna gets into a seemingly empty thestral drawn carriage. Plot twist: it isn't empty, Theo is there.

Almost all the carriages are gone by the time Luna leaves the Hogwarts Express, spectrespecs placed a little haphazardly atop her head. Stroking the neck of the thestrals she passes, she climbs into the nearest carriage. An involuntary shiver escapes her when she sits and her glasses slip. She catches them about her nose and decides to leave them there, closing her eyes to rest.

A throat clears.

One eye pops up, hidden behind the lens of her spectrespecs. Through it, she spots the iridescent flutters of wrackspurts. Many of them. They all flit about near the ceiling of the opposite bench. 

The throat clears again and Luna sighs.

“Hello Theodore,” she replies to her oldest friend. Or was he now an enemy? She knew most people defined relationships based on recent events but Luna liked to consider the most important instead.

“Lovegood,” he replies, pauses. “What are you wearing?”

“Well, I had a bit of a debacle whilst hunting for a friend and ended up destroying a large number of important items. Of course, I didn’t see him until it was almost too late but luckily for me, and I suppose for him too, Neville came along. However, I do believe it is more prudent that I wear my spectrespecs more often than not, especially considering the current state of events.”

Luna peers through her glasses rather pointedly before leaning back in her seat and once again closing her eyes.

* * *

Theo is frozen from confusion and something else that niggles at his head. He waits for her to continue, the carriage motion rocking them slowly from side to side. 

He waits. But she seems to be done.

He allows himself a moment to scan her face through the moonlight that peeks through the window and trees. Her hair glows, her face serene. It reminds him of the Yule Ball and how he felt. And then his feelings pull him down a path of memories, ending at last year. 

“Why didn’t you listen to me?” He asks without meaning to. Again unable to stop his thoughts from leaving his brain when she is there.

Her sigh is small this time.

“I did listen,” she says, “but I can’t not fight.”

It is his turn to sigh now. And he does so quite dramatically. At least he’s sure that’s what his Slytherin cohorts would tell him. His head tilts back, hands drag themselves slowly down his face as he groans. They are clean, smooth and blemish-free. 

Pure.

The thought has him releasing a snarl and suddenly he is leaning forward into his childhood friend’s face. But the lenses of her glasses are actually quite dark and he can’t see her eyes. 

He can’t see her. _He needs to see her_.

So he pulls them off, roughly without meaning to be. But Luna doesn’t flinch. 

She never flinches. 

Her lashes lift and clear blue eyes meet dirty green ones. Her brows rise in question and he almost feels like an arse. Almost.

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Theo replies, sitting back and crossing his arms in a huff. He’s really going after Draco’s claim for drama queen right now. Thank Merlin it was only the two of them. Luna smirks just a little. Or perhaps not.

“I know that,” she replies quietly, smirk turning sad. And that hurt. Because he knew that too. Because of all the things that had happened between them, of all the times he had hurt her whether purposely or by simply doing nothing. Theodore Nott, pureblood son of a Sacred Twenty-Eight family, did not deserve the right to ask Luna Lovegood of anything.

_And so he doesn’t._

The rest of the carriage ride they are both silent. Luna’s gaze drifts to the passing trees and moonlight outside. Theo fixes his own gaze to her face, committing it to memory because he knows that once they exit this carriage, whatever memories and feelings that exist between them now will be torn apart by the war.


	7. A Final Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna falls into a not-so-empty compartment. Feelings happen.

Luna skips through the carriages, waving at friends, sharing a lopsided smile with others. She isn’t blind to the curled lips of some or when others balk at her attention and avert their eyes. It isn’t a bother though. An exterior is nought but a projection of inner fears. And fears, well, fears are things that Luna understands.

In the next carriage, Luna looks up to find the Honeydukes Express trundling towards her, overflowing with treats and taking up too much space for a body to walk past. She purses her lips and briefly entertains the notion of levitating herself over the trolley. Instead, Luna stands on tiptoes, plastering herself against the door of a darkened train compartment. The trolley lady ambles past slowly, muttering to herself and disregarding her less than ideal positioning. While she waits, Luna spots a chip on the fourth toenail of her left foot, “How unfortunate”, she murmurs. The trolley creaks to a halt and the little old lady turns to ask a question. But Luna doesn’t hear it because the door she is stuck to opens and all she can do is tumble.

“The floor is quite softer than one would expect,” Luna muses aloud. A throat clears and Luna opens her eyes to see three pairs staring at her from above. The compartment is silent while she looks at each briefly, the three Slytherins staring at her with mixed expressions. She lifts her head to stare at her toe accusingly before dropping it back down and blowing a raspberry. Loudly. The noise seems to pull everyone out of their stupor and as Luna shifts to stand and make a hasty retreat, a hand is thrust in front of her. The onyx ring seems to wink at her so she takes it and is promptly pulled to her feet.

Someone coughs.

No one speaks.

And then everyone is talking, shuffling, manoeuvring and before Luna can quite comprehend what is happening the door slides shut and it’s quiet again.

She looks at him then because really there is nothing else to look at within the surprisingly empty compartment. He opens his mouth to talk.

“Where are your bags?” She asks. He closes it. Frowns. Looks around. Eyes widen imperceptibly.

“It doesn’t matter,” Luna says, taking a seat, “How are you, Theodore?”

His frown deepens. Luna gestures at the seat across from her so he sits. Right next to her.

“Luna I-” He stumbles over his words, fingers itching his left arm and her eyes follow. He sees her staring and stops. Pulls his hand back slowly, placing it mechanically on his leg.

“Luna, you need to be careful.”

“I am careful.”

“No you misunderstand,” Theo sighs, running a hand through his hair, “YOU need to be careful.”

Luna narrows her eyes.

“Theodore Nott, I am always careful.”

“No, you are not!” He cries, jumping up to stand unseeing in front of the window.

And Luna finally understands. It makes her heart skip for him and somehow she finds herself standing too. He doesn’t move when she grasps his hand. But he gives when she pulls, wanting to see him, needing to see him. His face is a mask that she sees through. It cracks a little as she runs her hands up, pausing at his forearm. Then finally she lifts it with both hands, kisses him there and it shatters, smashing into pieces so all that remains is an unobstructed view of him, her Theo.

*

She beams up at him and Theo can’t help himself. His hands move of their own accord, resting lightly on her shoulders. He doesn’t want to push her, he’s done enough of that. And it's taken him this long to figure out what he should have known all along.

The first time he called her that name.

All the times he stared at her in a warning.

Whenever he ordered her to stop.

He was an idiot, most likely still is. The thought makes him drop his hands from her shoulders, step back. He doesn’t deserve her. He will never deserve her.

Theo nods at her once then looks down, moves to step around her but she mirrors him. He goes left. She goes right. He tries right. She skips left. “Luna…” He starts, stepping back. But she continues to follow him till he is the one plastered against a window, stuck between the rolling hills and all of her.

Luna takes another step till their chests brush and Theo can see the bold blue of her eyes open for him. And its the most exquisite form of torture because he will not make the first move. Not when he has made so many foolish moves already. It is up to her now. He just hopes that she will let him back in.

Theo doesn’t move while her eyes search his. They meet and hold and everything else is forgotten. Her hands brush his then glide, skimming over his scars, healing his fears with their touch. She reaches his shoulders and he barely breathes, can’t help but shiver as she brushes them through the locks curling around the back of his neck. She steps up, closer now, hands tugging ever so soft until green eyes close to the sight of the most tempting of nymphs.

She brushes his lips with her own and Theo gives in to the temptation, hand raising to cup her face gently. Luna tilts her head, opening for him and he follows without hesitation. She pulls him closer still until they’re molded, mouths, chests, hips, thighs. Somehow his arm has locked itself around her back, gripping tight. And it is like nothing he could have imagined and yet everything he dared to dream. He pulls back quickly, lungs heaving and opens his eyes.

Luna gazes up at him with a lazy smile, lips swollen berry red against her porcelain skin. This time her smile reaches her eyes and he revels in it. His fingers slip to the strands coming loose about her face, brushing the silky strands behind an ear pierced with dirigible plum earrings that dangle from her lobe. His mouth quirks at the way they match her thoroughly kissed mouth, a new memory to cherish.

“I know you’re careful Luna,” Theo begins, “I was wrong to ask you to be anything other than yourself.”

Her hands move to his face, “It’s okay Theo.” He closes his eyes at the words because she couldn’t be more wrong. It will never be okay. The choices he made. The mark he was forced to take. The choices he will have to make.

“It _will be_ okay,” she whispers, brushing her lips against the corner of his mouth. And he isn’t sure if it's his desperation or longing that makes him move quickly then, head turning to pursue her lips. And bless her, Luna opens for him completely, as if she understands what he is begging of her, even while knowing he could never ask her to do anything other than what she has been doing this whole time.

\---

At the Hogsmeade station, Theo casually leans against a column, while his eyes search urgently for a head of pale blonde. Students rush past with their luggage, searching for the carriages and the quickest way to the castle. A blond approaches but it is the wrong one and Theo can’t help but feel frantic. Draco’s face is unreadable except for the slight twitch of his fingers. His friend notices him looking and shoves his hand into his trouser pockets. The slightest shake of his head and Theo doesn’t need to look into his friend’s eyes to know the pity that is there.

The platform is near empty and it’s lucky because Theo can’t help the sudden burst of destruction that comes from his magical core. The lampposts extinguish with a smash causing the remaining pupils to squeal and rush faster than before. Why did he let her leave? He shouldn’t have left her. His heart feels like it is going to explode, frantic in its flight. The world rushes around him, moving too fast and roaring too loud. He grips his wand, ready to apparate without a single care for his own safety but a cool hand stops him. It grips his shoulder, hard but not bruising and brings him back.

Theo doesn’t know how long he stands there. The Hogwarts Express has already pulled away from the station and the carriages to the castle are long gone. Eventually, he looks to his friend, Draco’s jaw is clenched tight, his face stony. Theo breathes in once slowly. Twice. Nods at his friend. The hand at his shoulder lets go as Draco starts the walk up to the castle. Theo breathes a third time and reaches up to brush the moisture pooling in his eyes.

The world is silent.

The world is still.

Except for the ache in Theo’s chest as he walks away from the station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this was obvious but the premise behind this scene was that Theo finally gets Luna. He recognises why she won't listen to his requests because they go against everything that she is (at least in this lil fic). She is a good person, possibly overly optimistic yet incredibly realist (to her perspective of the world). She will not do something that isn't inherent to her personality, no matter how much danger that puts her in, no matter how much that can affect her relationships with others. I suppose you could say my perception of her in this story is that she is unapologetically her, take it or leave it *shrugs*.


End file.
